Start Again
by Skull Xero
Summary: In Yuri's head is the Graveyard but in some else head, it's a world without colour, the Grey world, but who and why is there? *I wouldn't be able to update for some weeks[it's not like I update very often anyway], sorry! Blame exams!*
1. Crawling

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Shadow Hearts: Start Again

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Rex

A/N: I don't own anything, not Shadow Hearts, not the PS2, not even this computer! The songwords is rightfully belong to Linkin Park and the song is 'Crawling'.

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If he steps in and stands back up, then maybe, just maybe, this will never happen. All the blood, all the screaming, all the magic, all his fault. Everyone was counting on him, but he fail them, fail everybody, fail everything. For all this damage, the world no longer welcome him, the only place he greet to go is his own disconsolate thoughts, his blank thoughts, to retreat back to his lonely mind. He enter it so ofter that his saddness and sarrow had created a whole new world inside his head, one that he made but never notice.

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Crawling in my skin

These wounds they will not heal

Fear is how I fall

Confusing what is real

All his senses dull and colourless, his emotions gone from his face. His eyes either a lifeless green or lost of all colours, the tears in his eyes long run dry as he spent the two years hardly sleeping, most of his time spent in the world he never notice.

His world, grey and dark are the only colour he can see, he surroundings unclear, cover by a thick fog, heavy around him that somehow drag him down to his usual normal position, sitting down hugging his kness, his head hide behind his folded arms, his eyes peeking just above them, looking into blankness as his eyes lost all colours, slipping slowly from reality.

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There's something inside me that pull's beneath the surface

Consuming/Confusing

This lack of self-control I fear is never-ending

Controlling/I can't seem

To find myself again

My walls are closing in

[Without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take]

I've felt this way before

So insecure

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Shh... Sound of dragging, pulling. As the dragging sound stop for two or three seconds, a sound of water shifting follow like a whisper. Sound doesn't always heard in the 'Grey World', sometime it does, he hardly care. Most sound to him are deformed, confusing his mind.

From the sound, his mind halfly didn't care but yet little hope of continue living ignite inside him and he stand against the preesure, his full heigh as he push up against the gravity of the surrounding. His eyes have return a slight green but still lifeless.

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Crawling in my skin

These wounds they will not heal

Fear is how I fall

Confusing what is real

He look in front of him, on the cracked brick wall, a shadow loom over it, the light as he remember it, comes from the street light behind him. The shadow lift up a fist. He turn around, facing a monster with a slug lower body, crow head and a spider body. Staring at the raised arm blankly, knowing what's going to happen next but he don't intend to run and the fist slam right in the middle of his chest, the force amazingly strong, pushing him back against the cracked wall and the wall collapes backward, creating a larger hole and a cloud of dust.

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Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me

Distracting/Reacting

Against my will I stand beside my own reflection

It's haunting how I can't seem

To find myself again

My walls are closing in

[Without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take]

I've felt this way before

So insecure

As he lie under some bricks, his eyes stare up at the roof, his hand search inside his pocket and soon find what he look for, a slingshot. Grabbing a piece of broken brick, he stand back up slowly, his eyes turn grey slightly as he return halfly to the 'Grey World'.

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Crawling in my skin

These wounds they will not heal

Fear is how I fall

Confusing what is real

Crawling in my skin

These wounds they will not heal

Fear is how I fall

Confusing/Confusing what is real

The fog clear up just the slightest bit, he stare up at the dark shape in front of him in the fog, he look it over, no sign whatsoever. The fog clear off and he return to reality to face the monster, his slingshot ready and aim carefully at the monster crow head and pull back the string till it meet his ear, he let go and watch as the little piece of brick fly throught the crow head, killing it completly.

As the monster body turn to a little dot of light, he walk from the small desert building that he rest in and back on the street, dragging his body aimlessly out of the town and on a path that he don't know where it leads that seemingly never end.

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There's something inside me that pull's beneath the surface

Consuming/Confusing what is real

This lack of self-control I fear is never-ending

Controlling/Confusing what is real

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TBC...

Rex: Yes, I know there is a Radical Rex here, and yes, I know he is out there in the middle of fire line. In fact, I know him better then most of you here, I'm not Radical Rex himself, not even his friend, I'm his little brother, I go by the name Rex, both of us for some reason love the word Rex, we actually have it written all over a page and stick up a wall!

Anyway, I'm about 13, chinese, he is half chinese half english, long story so hopefully Blain will come back and tell you instead of me.


	2. Blame

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Shadow Hearts: Start Again

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Rex

A/N: A/N: I don't own anything, not Shadow Hearts, not the PS2, not even this computer!

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The fog thicken as if by magic, it's pressure around him lighten and he stand up, the fog almost choking him as it slowly but surely warp itself around him. As it raise and reach up to his arms, it lock them like a chain, he start to struggle against it hold. The pressure around suddenly increase and push the invisible weight against him, stopping all his movement.

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"Can't you do better then this? I know you can break away from it."

He look around, the fog chaining him retreat and disappear back to the fog surrounding him, as it did, the ordinary fog grow back to normal. A little light breeze, as if by magic, blow by and disturb the still fog, rolling it alittle away as if letting him see his path.

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"Come on, show me what you got."

He shake his head, still looking at a new view in the Grey world. The picture still grey but seeable through the blurry wavering of materials. As he start turning around, facing what he had been leaning on, a blurry wavering picture of a figure like a tree. He continue to look around, seeing below the hill top he is at, a small town rest there, shadowed by the hill sight and as he trace the path, the one he stand on will soon have a junction and one lead to the town. 

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I know I'm being tested,

Only want to know why so complex,

Really wish to wash away the pain,

Even if I have nothing to gain.

I wish I know why this world is so,

Wish to know why this place so cold,

Wish I could find someone to blame,

So someone else can feel the same,

As me

As he step to go forward, intending to go to the town, he notice an incredible pain inside his chest, burning at him, eating away his energy.

The pair of eyes slowly opens, the eyes stare alittle in grey colour before it blinks and turn back to the dead green. Although in pain, he got up from lying under the tree and down the hill, knowing exactly where to go afterwards.

Walking, or more likely, dragging, consist on only concentrating to put one feet in front of the other as he struggle against tiredness and the pain he felt in his chest. He kept his head down while continuing his path, no energy to even lift his head and never once he notice he enter the town.

As he walk, the street seemingly empty. His awareness set a new standard for lowest during conscious. He notice only one thing, in front of his eyes is the ground and many black dots. Without knowing, from the corner of his mouth, a line of blood roll down his chin.

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In your world, peaceful it seems,

Want to know why my world so dim?

Cause I can't wake up from a dream,

Want to know what happiness really mean.

I wish I know why this world is so,

Wish to know why this place so cold,

Wish I could find someone to blame,

So someone else can feel the same,

As me

The day is sunny after three days of non-stop raining. As Alice Elliot hold the shopping list in her hand, reading over what they need in their new apartment, she notice not a soul on the street. She wonder alittle but then turn her attendion on the list of food at hand. Her guard, because the lack of people in the street, is down and she walk along, humming to herself.

She got a shock when she walk into someone, the person isn't walking fast, more like dragging a tired body, so she didn't get knock down, she put away the list to apologise only to notice the person start falling, collapsing towards her. Alice, being kind and caring, reach out and catch him and turn him around to face upward, only to get a bigger shock then before.

"Halley!" She shout, holding the young boy tightly and carefully resting him on the ground.

She shake him alittle until she notice the blood coming from his mouth. She lower her ear to his chest, listening for heart beats. She find it easily but that doesn't relief her as the heart beats too fast, some 200 beat-per-minute rather then the normal 72 beat-per-minute. Next she check for pulse, putting her fingers right on his veins. The thobbing of the pulse is slow, around 50 beat-per-minute. 

This confuse her, as how a heart beating so fast can have pulse beating so slow. She decide that time cannot be wasted to wonder and she start to drag Halley to her apartment some three blocks away.

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This time I open my eyes,

I begin to start wondering why,

It seems to me, I can't cry,

And there is this feeling, wanting me to die.

I wish I could find some answer,

Wish to know why one mistake make me a sinner,

Wish to know where I can put the blame,

But for now, the blame is on me, unlike my dream.

He open his eyes again, first thing he see is the sky, grey. He then look at his side as he notice that he is lying flat on his back. A light blind him and he instantly lift up his arms to cover his eyes.

He stir alittle before he jolt up wide awake. Alice stare in amazement as how Halley's eyes upon waking start with cold grey to dead green within a short time yet so clearly changing. As he stare at Alice somewhat lost before it finally hit him that he must have enter the town which also happen to be where Alice lives.

"Halley?" Alice ask lightly as she watch him being lost in thought.

He shake his head alittle before staring at her again, as if examining a familiar face without remembering the past. Remembering that she is calling him by his name like a question, he nob to her, her name still lost in his mind.

Alice nob, a smile paste itself on her face again, she had being so worry that she hadn't smile when he was unconscious. Next, she place her hand on his arm, a white light glow lightly, it felt warm on his arm and the little ache at his chest disappear totally.

"You were poisoned, so I heal you up but I can't be sure it's all gone till you wake up, now it's all gone." Alice explain as she examine him, she notice something is very wrong with him, not physical but mentally, is like his soul is being torn away by something.

It takes a few more second before he speak, his voice like someone being mute all his life and suddenly can speak again. "Alice?" As if the word is like a switch or a spell, his head hurts like something is trying to drill it's way into his head. For the first time, he find himself being drag to the Grey world unwillingly.

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Wish I know why I can't remember,

Times when happiness is my only matter,

Blame, now replace all my feelings,

Even if I wish it's not, I know I'm lying.

Wondering why blame taste so sorrow,

Wondering what will happen tomorrow,

Wish there is someone I can follow,

But there is none so I have to barrow.

The world is no longer just grey, there is nothing grey there anymore, in fact, not even the fog nor any shape of things. It's all just white, it's blinding him badly that he scream out and cover his eyes with his arms. It didn't last long till it stop, the light stop, the Grey world return, the fog is there again with only one difference, the colour white is there too, standing out from the grey.

Alice was frightened as Halley all of a sudden scream out in pain and cover his head like a headache. That's when Alice notice again, his eyes turn from the light green to a cold grey, just like before. Now Alice is positive about something is wrong with him.

He feel strange, is like what just happen is nothing but an exhausting dream, his body feels like been torn apart from all sides and put back together again. He feel like a wind carrying him, floating in the sky, he feel... light, both in weight and in colour. He need to get out back to reality, he need a little time in the real world by himself.

He close his eyes from staring at the white sky, his mind zooming out of the Grey world and back to reality of the real living world.

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I wish I know why this world is so,

Wish to know why this place so cold,

Wish I could find someone to blame,

So someone else can feel the same,

As me

If you wonder why I blame,

Myself is the only person I can name,

My life is being set on flame,

From now and then, my life wouldn't be the same.

His eyes change back again, Alice can see it begins to change but then, he closed his eyes like back to sleep. Alice wonder for a moment, but decide that since he must have travel here on foot, he need his rest, hopeful, a real rest that won't bring him anywhere.

She left, closing the door till it's just alittle ajar. She wonder what is going on, she then come to a single thought;

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He isn't blaming himself, is he?

And is at that time, Alice thoughts went to Yuri, her future husband. _Maybe he will know..._

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TBC...


End file.
